Sleep...wait...what is sleep? I've forgotten how it feels to be able to sleep through the night. Havyn cries several times a night and needs me to rock her or stand and bounce her back to sleep. I am not exaggerating when I say that she will sleep until Greg and I finally get comfortable in bed. It is then that she starts the crying. This week has been extra challenging.
When we were in Ethiopia I noticed that Havyn would "head butt" to self soothe. This is also how she would get her self to sleep. She would "head butt" the crib. Well, I certainly was not going to let her continue with that type of self-soothing behavior. So, I began to rock her to sleep (which is also good for attachment). After the first time that I rocked her to sleep, she would not go to sleep on her own again - not for naps and not for bedtime. It is not unusual for me or Greg to rock her for 45 min. at night. She doesn't always let Greg put her to sleep, though she loves her Daddy. She cries and cries and cries until I come in.
As I said, this week has been rough to say the least. One night she kept crying about every half hour, and I just couldn't keep getting out of bed. So, we ended up just having her sleep with us. I think she slept some of the night. We slept none of the night. Last night I was up 5 times trying to put her back to sleep. And tonight....well, just getting her to sleep was a nightmare. Let's just say that I started at 7:22 (yes, I looked at the clock before I walked into the bedroom with her), and it was 9:05 by the time I got her into the crib. By the end of the night we were both crying.
So, what do we do about this? Well, I don't really know, but someone (who recently adopted a little girl from Ethiopia around Havyn's age) suggested looking at Jo Frost's tips (The Super Nanny). She used them and it worked. So I checked out her tips about bedtime. I really don't know what to do. She does say in the tips that they should not be used at certain times or for certain kids, including those who have been adopted and have abandonment issues. Can I bear to hear her scream and not go into the room? I don't know. Will it cause trauma for her? I just don't know. Here's the link....what do you think? http://jofrost.com/jos-techniques/controlled-timed-crying-technique-ctct
I am tired. Greg is tired. We are at a loss for these sleep issues. I wouldn't mind some advice, but just keep in mind that at times a parent must parent differently a child who was adopted. There are things to consider that a parent does not need to consider when dealing with a biological child.
(Forgive me if there are mistakes - I read over it again, but.....I'm tired)
Here are a few pictures of our beautiful Havyn from one night a few weeks ago.
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